Does she involve in this?

This morning, again I was attacked in the Obstetric and Gynaecology (O&G) OPD, nausea and almost vomit. I left without telling the doctor, takut la die ofer nak buat ultrasound ke.. (the 2^nd time I went to clinic the doctor asked if I'm pregnant. I'm not married yet, na'uzubillah). I went to sleep, it was ok when I woke up, but again in the ward the pain came back. Do U expext me to sleep 24/7?

Actually, there is a friend having same problem with me last year when we reached from India. She really cannot eat, until she was admitted due to… dehydration? Something like that… I think maybe that time I thought 'is she really sick? Is it that worse?' maybe, I said maybe. Maybe not, maybe yes.

I learnt 2 things. I think this time I have to feel the pain. Serve me right!!! Next time, be careful with your words, u'll be tested for them. Even in our du'a (prayers) we really have to be careful. Sometimes we think we ask something good like "ya Allah, gimme strength to face the difficulties in life" something like that. Is it wrong if u really have real tough life but he make you strong, rather than ask Him to make ur life easier… I don't know, but remember whatever u got, natures know best.

And I have to learn to believe ppl's feeling. My mean, when ppl tell it's painful, then it is. Sometimes I doubt ppl with pain, now I really feel. Serve me right again!!! LOL! Even if u give a '1-10 scale' to a smiling person to describe his pain, if he says it's 9, then believe it severe because u don't feel it. Now I know, is the pain is pain or not… won't doubt anymore..

I read one book long2 time ago, a motivation book. The author wrote, sometimes kalau kite sakit, maybe ade something yg our body tak puas hati ngan kita, merajuk la agaknya. So, kite kene la pujuk die balik. Contoh, cam saya sakit perut ni kan... cakapla kat die, "perut2, awak tau kan, kite sayang sangat awak... sayang sgt.. jgnla sakit lagi... marilah kita hidup dengan gembira..". In fact, I did, tp nampaknya degil betol perot ni. Nak kene pujuk ngan ape yekk... Kalaula die buleh beri lead ape die nak kan senang.. huhu.. and don't surrender to the pain. Nak sakit, sakit la.. nak gadoh, meh rrr.... Oppss, just be strong and gunala ubat ape2 to relieve the pain..(actually, I wanna share more bout this book, tp da lupe la, buku tu pon xtau kat mane)

the girl I'm talking about. Are U trying to run away?

But I'm so glad, she helped me a lot go through this, because she understand the pain and the feeling. I hope I'll recover soon, senang nak bawak orang mengidam tu gi Big Apple selaloo… ngeh ngeh