Aku Rela Demi mu

Return to Melaka form a week of holidays, I also holiday from tenet. Surfing Bond's blog, cam berharap I upload gambar kawin Ada je. So, even byk stories b4 her marriage, terpaksa la I upload gambar mereka dulu. Congratulations to both of them. Even, for me majlis quite simple la, but still meriah. Not to forget, I wore attires(?) of the same colour with pengantin. Kalau bride die penat ke ape, boleh la ganti hehe..Saya rasa Apih sangat lucu. Tak sabar2 nak cium bride, cium kepala gitu. Orang cium dahi la wei...Nak upload gak gambar ni, walaupun mungkin menimbulkan kontorversi. huhu (hanya dalam gambar)

Ke Arah Menjadi Doktor Yang Baik : Kepimpinan Melalui Teladan

It was holidays. Saya yang rajin nak pegi ward amek case, so later I’m gonna take lasser cases than everybody. It was raining that time and for unknown reason, ppl can’t park the cars in front of ward building, so do I. So, I parked the car in front of the entrance. Kalut nak kluar in the rain (no umbrella in the car), I forgot to grab the hanging at the back mirror (betul ke nih?) nametag. When I was in the ward, I noticed one pak cik pakai baju cantik2 look one kind at me (semacam), I thought relatives, biarla jelah. Saya cantik kot.

So, Tase and me browse any interesting case and found a case of breast lump. We went straight to that lady. Initially, she was hesitating to let us examine. Then, came the earlier pak cik with a nurse. So, we knew he’s not a relative.

“Who are you?” he asked

“We’re Manipal student”

“Where’s ur nametag?” he asked me.

“I forgot to bring”

Then, sebakul die membebel. Dari nametag, sampaila doctor muda tak reti buat kerja. Antara yang die membebel (untuk dijadikan teladan)

1. Doctor muda doesn’t care about the patient, pandai clerk case je, tapi tak tanya perasaan/semua berkaitan ngan patient, not caring la.

2. Doctor muda not responsible (kebetulan lak sorang houseman x amek concern for I don’t know what procedure after clerking the case)

3. X introduce urself (I guessed it was in my entry earlier) I’m lucky, eventhough I don’t like introducing myself, it’s a habit that I start conversation with the patient with my name and where I’m from.

4. Tak suke baca berita berkaitan ngan medicine, suka entertainment (we asked us about a doctor left a pair of scissors in patient’s abdomen that we hesitate to answer. It’s not that we don’t know, tp lupe hospital mane. Hehe)

5. Honest ( kalau x examine, ckpla x examine, takyah bagi excuse, sound or not

6. Forget dy, tp die puji doctor2 tua yang katanya lebih responsible and so and so forth (belajarla drpd doctor tua)

Anyway, thanks to him. If he doesn’t show up, maybe the mak cik won’t let us examine her. At least, I learnt how to examine breast dy.

How I just wish I’m a little red devil, I would ask him in return “where’s ur nametag too, sir?”

Ke Arah Menjadi Doktor Yang Baik : A Week in A&E

Lain yg dirancang lain yang menjadi. Eh, kita merancang Allah yang menentukan. Sudah seminggu batch 17 bercuti. Amazingly, saya masih di Melaka. Adakah saya sudah berpindah rumah ke sini? Memangla saya ada rumah kat sini, tapi rumah sewa la, bukan rumah mak mentua. Saya purposely delay balik rumah, hajatnya stay kat sini nak pegi ward surgery, amek case. By the time, posting surgery log book da siap, so xyahla berebut2 ngan my grupmates cases yang x berapa banyak kat ward tu. Tp, dah tgh2 malam still kat Accident & Emergency (A&E) department, mane nak bgnnya pg2.

Initially, A&E Club ade 3 ahli je yang diketuai oleh Banji (tp, Nampak cam saya je ketuanya), Nato and me. Saya ni, mmg susah sikit nak perkenalkan diri. Dalam medicine practice, the first thing we have to do when approach the patient is introduce ourselves, macam pelik lak rasenye. 'Mak Cik, nama saya….. dari…… boleh saya periksa mak cik?' tp, bile fikir2 balik, macam tu la org berkenalan kan? Biasenye, kalau saya berkenalan, nama tu tanya paling last. Dah dkt nak berpisah tu baru tanya nama. Salah konsep betul. Biasenye kalau lepak kat A&E mmg kami buat bodoh je, bajet org da kenal la kami sebagai student Manipal. Tp malam tu, ade sorang doctor incharge kat A&E tgk pelik je kat kami, so we don't really know what to do. Masing2 tengok masing2, cam terkelu lidah. At last, I told him 'Dr, kami pelajar Manipal, nak dtg belajar buat procedure apa2 la'

Then, he: 'ha, camtulah. Kenal2 kan diri'. Apetah ayat lagi, cam perli je. Tahla, mungkin gaya org Melaka ckp camtu.. huhu .The first night, macam blur skit sbb takde orang kenal dan ade orang nama Abang Aboy (my rumet nye secret admirer, not a secret anymore, haha. Eh, ke Nato nye? Pepandaila membahagi kasih) die la yang sibok2 dok mengusik kami. Tp yang paling pedas tak leh blah ialah : belajar la apa yang patut. Budak Manipal ni, walaupun da jadi doctor, kami masih pandang rendah kat korang. Skill kureng.

Erkss… camtu eh? Bunyinye cam, no matter what we do, mmg kami ni xleh harapla. Ala, baru2 keje mmg camtu kan? Dah lame nanti ok la kot. Yang penting, jgn malu nak blajau. That night ended with, ape yg saya buat ah? Observe die buat insert CV line. Cam senang je…

The 2^nd night, menarikla sikit, sbb ade Abang Zainie. He taught me to insert IV cannula, grey lak tu. Cececece. Grey tu size besar la, die kate tererla first tyme da buat grey. Berbunga2 rasenye. Hampir2 buat ABG ngan Abg Zainie malam tu. Kacau aaa dr, tetiba dtg nak buat. Jeles la tuh.Malam tu macam sifu la plak saya ni. Buat male catheterization, assisted by Abg Razif. Orang lain amek2 darah je, saya da pro keje tu.. (Jangan tuan cakap takbur, nanti tuan masuk kubur). Ala, saya kan da biase gi bilik 33, kalau still macam first tyme pegang syringe baik x payah.

The 3^rd night, not much we do. Sbb malam tu, semua org sibok resus sorang mangsa accident, cam xde benda boleh ditolong, so we decided to stay at yellow zone je. Yeahhh, Nato da naik pangkat da insert IV cannula, tp green je lah. Mane blh surpass sifu.. that night I followed Sheikh ke blood bank (cam xde keje sgt da aku ni). He said, he couldn't intubate mangsa accident I mention previously. Die baru junior MA, okla tu. Then, he said kene yakin buat keje. Confident, jgnla nak cucuk jarum tu tangan ketar2. Jadi ke tidak, lain cerita yang penting kite harus confident nak buat benda tu. Tp, die sedihla sebab 3 kali die intubate, sekali je jadi. Me? Don't let me meet a case that I need to intubate.

Kami ade la jumpe beberapa orang houseman yang terkejut dengan kerajinan kami lepak kat A&E, sanggup tak balik rumah. One of them was our senior.

She : We all dulu, cuti sehari pon curi2 balik. Pelikla korang ni. Sy nak balik, tp terpaksa dok sini, korang dapat balik, tanak balik plak. (patutla org pandang rendah student Manipal, bukan nak blajau asik nak balik je)

She said again : tp, mase belaja tu belaja la betul2, mase cuti, cuti la… (Erkksss… tersilap sangkaan. Sori, kak)

Ade sorang doctor tu plak kate, mase die student, sekali je amek darah. Eh? Biar betik. Tahla, saya pn x tau ape yang patut kami buat mase student. X practice, kalau tak reti buat kene marah. Practice kang, orang kate semangat nak mampus plak. For me, saya mmg suka keje2 ni, so I don't care what ppl gonna say, sbb theory saya down skt, so at least I compensate. But I guess kerajinan blajar juga perlu ditingkatkan, bukan kerajinan menyapu di A&E sahaja. (x paham? mungkin Is and me je faham)

Eh? 3 malam je rupenye, ingatkan a week cam dalam tajuk tu. Cukupla 3 nights, yang siang harinya kami tak macam org. even sedar kepala pening2. Tiap2 malam pon, balik kul 3 pagi, mane tak peningnye. I guess it's a good practice. Later, that's what we have to do kan?

Anyway, 10q kpd staff yang mengajar kami. Sy ingin mintak maaf jugak kalau ade termengata mana2 staff, especially sorang staff nurse tu. Lenkali ckpla awal2 itu salah. Bukannya da habis procedure n x jadi baru nak ckp itu salah. And, last but not least Fairuz, I'll make sure u're gonna teach me something someday. Janaaa J

Gadis Melayu dan Abis XM

It was after our semester exam. Part of la, only 2 papers finish, the rest will turn up after the holidays. It's holidays anyway. 4 of gadis Melayu gi enjoy kat Times Square. Tinggal 2 org, Tas n Tengku diorang x abih xml g. hehe. kami gi sane naik buraqku DBG (perasan). Plannya nak tinggalkan keta somewhere around KL sentral, kononnya parking kat Times Square tu mahel, sedar2 suda sampai ke Times Square, terpaksa la park situ je. Ye dak?

Actually, Kauthar la yg beriya nak dtg sini, sbb nya nak main kat Cosmo Theme Park tuh.. memula I was so excited la jugak, lame tak main. Last tyme, kat India dulu. Tuh pon, mmg scary giller. Safety system die was doubtful. Macam nak tercabut je safety belt tu. Bile da sampai situ. Oh my God. Am I serious. Do I really wanna ride this things again. Dalam hati saya menyumpah2 sapela yang reka permainan ni, terpaksa lak aku main.

In order to hilangkan rasa takut sikit we went to Fantasy Garden ke ape. Ala, tempat budak2 tu.. alahai, x mencabar nya. Bosan tul….

We played most of the games. 2 games yang saje tinggal, sbb pusing2, pening tak larat. Actually I left 3 games la. Tomahawk, x larat la nak main. Menjeje air liur nanti.. hehe..

Tak tau nak ckp ape, tp menarikla jugak. Except that I have a problem that tyme. So, nok really enjoy la. After that, I revealed what really happened. Okla rasenye.

Then, ptg tu kami gi melawat Ummu Musa and anaknya (she was our senior in INTEC dulu) kat Shah Alam. Jauh berjalan2 kan? Heheh. Lama jugak lepak kat rumah die. Ingat nak dok sekejap je, sbb byk lagi tujuan kami lepas tu. Tapi, syok sgt ckp pasal pengalaman Ummu Musa membesarkan anaknya. Musa sgt kurus walaupun da 5 bulan. Kalau nak banding ngan Hafiy, agaknya sebesar Hafiy masa lahir. Exaggarated tul. But, he's only 4.5kg. the birth weight was 3++kg. kami pon apalagi, sibok nak buat diagnosis ape. As long as he stay healthy, I guess nothing to be worried about. Lagipon, mak die pon kurus..

Actually, I planned to sleep in Ayah P's place. Da lame tak jumpe budak2 tuh. Tp malam tu, kami terpaksa overnight kat rumah Abg Nato sbb it was around 10pm when we reached his house and the house is quite far from Sy. 20 and I'm not very familiar with the road, nothing I can do. It's better that I sesat tgh jalan, then kene tido dalam keta. Huhu

Bosannya cerita ni. Dahla eh…

Isu Kawin

When I was a teenager (teenager? I can't believe I'm an adult now) I always want to get married earlier, as Rasulullah said " Wanita yang berkat itu orang yang kawin awal". Something like that la.. Tapi, bile semakin besar nih, rasanya the point of view is different. Ke sebab takde orang nak? Well, partly true. Actually, it's not nobody want me, but I dumped them all.
Kawin muda, seronok tu memang la seronok (seronok ke? :p) tapi adelah pro and cons die. Maybe ramai yang sokong, tapi kita takbley tolak pendapat yang menolaknya. Tak kisah la, kalau da sampai jodoh tu, kawin la jugak kan?
Well, why I chose to change my mind?
1.Dulu2, mase dok kat rumah, memang la tak rase.. tapi bile jauh dari family, jauh dari parents rase lak betapa penting nya they all in my life. As a lady, kalau I kawin sah2 la I kene tinggalkan my parents kan? Adil ke? Sejak dari kecik diorang jaga I, tup2 dah besar, senang2 nak blah camtu? Tak adil kan?
2.Ade sekalitu, I konon nak berdikari la, tanak mintak tolong die buat something, then it turned other way round. Kalau i mintak tolong die mase tuh, insyaAllah takla camtuh hasilnya. So, this is what he said when I said I didn't wanna trouble him " Kalau tanak susahkan ayah, tak payah jadi anak ayah la..." erkk, so i decide i still nak susahkan die.
3. I nak semua susah payah my parents skola kan i selama ni dapat kat diorang balik. Alhamdulillah, I da kasik 5A UPSR, 8A PMR (satu B simpan sendiri :P), 10A SPM, dah datang India, so i rase biarlah they all boleh bangga ngan i sampai i dapat degree. Kalau i kawin kang, laki i la plak orang puji nanti.
4. Insya4JJI, I nak berbakti kat my parents dulu before i get married. sejak dari form 1 i duk hostel, sampaila skang tak penah lekat kat rumah, so before i leave that house again, just let me be with them..

" Your Rabb has decreed you that: You shall worship none but Him, and you shall be kind to your parents; if one of them live to their old age in your lifetime, you shall not say to them any word of comtempt nor repel them and you shall address them in kind words. You shall lower to them your wing of humility and pray: O my Rabb! Bestow on them Your blessing just as they cherished me when I was little child" Al-Isra':23-24

And to my future husband, I tau i pon patut usaha looking for u, but i just don't feel like. Ape kata U je carik I. I tunggu ok? :p.. tapi jangan datang awal sgt....tapi kalau jodoh dalam masa terdekat ni, ape nak buat kan? hehe

Paid Evil

The short case for medicine done on Monday even though the posting only will end on Friday (OSCE and MCQ are there). For me, ward work x penting dah. Pegi ward lambat pon, still ok la. Short case finished what? Then, on Wednesday morning, my rumet wanted me to send her to post office. We went on 8, but the office only open at 8.30am. since I parked my car near A&E (the place I always wanna be, hehe). FYI, distance between my car and A&E is similar to the distance between our ward and post office, so we decided to stay in A&E for a while.

Around 8.30am we wanted to go to post office that I saw 2 of my classmate baru nak gi ward. Actually, it was their turn in palliative care unit (PCU). (tgk, semua gi ward lambat, hehe. ape nye doctor la ni… ish ish). One of my friend tu ade prob sikit ngan lecturer, kene cop sbb penah dtg lambat previously.

I took my phone out, called her "weh cepat.. ******* ade kat PCU"

They were like……… RUN!!!. Belimme, they were really running. Abih jatuh brg. Mase tu, I jerit2, wei2!! Tipu jelah… I guessed they saw me at the back, tp still lari jugak. Kelakar la jugak. Tp, of course la diorang marah giler. Hehe.. kesian, rase bersalah tp kelakar!!!! Hahaha, izinkan sy bergelak ketawa jap.

Back to my story, pegila sy n my rumet ke post office. Tak sedar diri, sempat singgah makan jap. I reached the ward around 9.30am. mase tu lecturer takde. Suddenly, lecturer yang paling kami takut (yg disebut diatas tuhla) die datang and me "why u're late doctor? I'm not giving u attendance…"

Eh? Aku lak yang kena. Berbuih la mulut saya explain where I've been that morning, tp mestila x ckp I went to post office. I told her I went to A&E. tak tipu kan? I really went there. Yang kelakarnya, die tanya apa yg ade kat sana. My God, die pon gi A&E gak. Nasib baikla ade sorang houseman tu suh kami amek darah sorang pak cik yg came with DKA. So, selamat la.. Alhamdulillah

Jadi, kepada kawan2, buatlah keje dengan honest. Janganlah membiasakan diri memonteng kerja masa student nih, sbb bile da jadi doctor sok, lagila takde orang nak evaluate, keje sorang2 je. Mulakan lah dari sekarang. This is the tyme we do together what we have to do alone soon.

Kepada rakyat jelata, jangan la bimbang. Kami doctor, bukan terok sgt, cume kadang2 kami nak juga buat lawak. Takkan hidup nak ngadap anda je, penat la beb!. Hihi.

InsyaAllah saya cube menjadi doctor yang bertanggungjawab pada patient saya nanti, tp sy juga memerlukan kerjasama anda. Sama2 tolong nanti eh…

You’ll Never Know Untill You Try

Dah lama peristiwa ni berlaku, tp mase tu saya bz x sempat nak tulis. Sekarang saya nak membzkan diri. I think I found the thing that hold me back, and I'm willing to let it go, but not today. Haha. Okla, back to the story. Mase tu nak solat magrib. Usually, I'll become the imam. That time, I feel lazy, so I passed to her. Lame jugakla argue ngan die. Alasannya, "saya tak layak", "saya tak pandai". Typical alasan kalau kita xnk buat keje apa2. "Saya tak pandai". Tak pandai sebenarnya 'limiting belief' atau kepercayaan yang membataskan (cilok dr blog Kak Anfal) The things is, sampai bila kite nak escape dengan alasan yang sama. Kalau tak pandai, kene la belajar, kene la cuba. Betul tak?

Kita ni sama je sebenarnya. Yang membezakan adalah cara kita fikir pasal kita. Saya memang seorang yg negative thinking about myself dan sering membandingkan diri dengan rakan2 saya. Saya selalu merasakan no matter how hard I work, I'm no better. They see I sit on my study chair, face the book. Tak gerak2, padahal xde org tau adakah sy bace tu masok or I'm just thinking of adakah other ppl tgh study ataupun tidak.

Eh, melalut lak saya ni. Akhirnya, my rumet td jadilah imam dengan terpaksa. Boleh je, takde masalah apa pon. See, cube lah dulu. Then u'll know pandai ke tak…